The Waiting Game
We have played the waiting game the last two weeks. It started with bed rest and now I am back in the swing of things...work and all. Tomorrow morning we find out if the in-vitro took or not. I am totally having mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I am so excited to find out if we are finally pregnant but I am scared to death at the same time. We have been wishing and hoping and praying the last 4 years for a family and this finally could be it. I have been trying to be realistic in the situation so I am not devastated if we are not pregnant. There is a 40% chance that it didn't work and I have yet to figure out how you grieve over lost hope. We could do it again but knowing this is the last option of us having our own children makes it so overwhelming. Eveyone keeps asking me how I am feeling and if anythings seems different. For the most part I feel the same as ever. Any symptom I am feeling is a product of the in vitro process.
The other issue I am having is I am not sure how or when to tell people. It's not like we have kept it a big secret because lets be honest it's such an overwhelming situation that I definately couldn't do it without completely going crazy if I did not have support. It has been so refreshing to know that people care and support us. I want people to know and be excited with us if it is good news...but I also am a nurse and know that there still are a lot of things that could happen the next few months. I was always going to wait until I was past the first trimester to tell people I was pregnant. I don't really think that is an option right now, you might all go crazy waiting and I am a terrible liar. On the other hand if it is bad news I don't think I am going to want to talk about it over and over to tell everyone.
Here is what I do know. I do know that I am not going to post anything tomorrow for all you curious people because I am working tonight and I work tomorrow night and I have to sleep sometime. I promise that I will publish it when I am ready and that it won't be in 2 months. I may just put a smiley face or a frowny face and let that be the end of it.
5 comments:
Honey you know I'll support you however whenever you choose to tell us! (But I'm also working with you so I'll be there to hug you--either way!!) Love your guts and good luck!!!
I am so anxious for you to find out. I was wondering what you were going to do when you did to let us know - and yes, it better not be 2 months ;) Kidding. I agree with what you have said - I can't imagine having to tell everyone, yet I wouldn't be able to go through this all alone either so please either way, let me know what I can do to help. I really hope I see a smiley face today :) Fingers crossed.
You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers today. Love ya and I will be here if you need anything.
You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers today. Love ya and I will be here if you need anything.
I can totally understand your mixed feelings. Here's hoping we see a smiley face sometime soon, but know that we will continue to pray for you either way!!
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